Tuesday, October 7, 2014

First "Funkin" of 2014

We typically add a few new Funkins (commercially available foam carving pumpkins) to the Halloween haunt arsenal every October. This fellow is the first of (hopefully) many!


Sunday, October 5, 2014

#1 The Curse of Frankenstein

That's right Monster Kids - number one on my top-ten favorite Frankenstein films is The Curse of Frankenstein! Hammer Studios' first foray into gothic horror is a full-blown Technicolor masterpiece.
(Though I just learned today that this film was pitched to Hammer by the man that would go on to head Amicus Films - the 'other' great British house of horror).


There will never be a greater Dr. Frankenstein than Peter Cushing (nor a better Van Helsing for that matter). If Cushing was of the correct age he could have easily been the guy in the early Universal Franken-films. A perfectly convincing classic horror actor - who just as easily wears the shoes of a hero or a villain. And in The Curse of Frankenstein make no mistake, Cushing is the villain..

The movie is one of only two Hammer retellings of the Shelley' Frankenstein tale. All the other Hammer-Franks are penned outright by filmmakers. The film starts with the young doctor taking on an in-house science tutor name Paul Krempe. Flash forward to Dr. Frankenstein as a young adult and Krempe as his contemporary, who later essentially becomes a reluctant assistant. They successfully 'torture' a dead puppy back to life (in the name of film science I suppose) and create some crazy electro-paddlefans and that is enough for the good doc to go off the deep end and cave in fully to his ego.

Though at no time does the doc seem to have a second to spare he apparently maintains proper with his bride-to-be cousin Elizabeth (horror actress Hazel Court) and random booty-calls with slightly-too inquisitive house-maid Justine (Valerie Gaunt - Horror of Dracula).


Between debauching the 'servantry' and ignoring every bit of life advice from Krempe, the doc hasn't just been raiding the gallows and crypts - but outright murdering people to piece together a truly horrifying Monster (Christopher Lee). The monster is utterly hideous and entirely malevolent. Few Frankenstein films were made by anyone outside of Universal to that point so the appearance of the monster is pretty much established as the block-headed Karloff/Strange creature.
I would have LOVED to been in the cinema when that 1957 audience gets their first, horrifically zoomed, full-color look at the Chris Lee monster, who in all intents and purposes looks more human and terrifying than the Universal creatures. The monster literally looks like a re-assembled, very pruned corpse. Horrifying!

Not a chap you would want to run into in the woods, especially with your old, blind granddad!

An all-time very favorite horror-film visual is when Justine has snuck into the forbidden laboratory and surveys the trouble she might get into. Unbeknownst to her, the monster is just behind her - but we only see the extremely frightening shadow of his arm moving from the darkness towards her..


The movie to an extent becomes a tense, high-stakes "get out of the room" thriller with some characters just making it - and others not. The music is as forceful and unrelenting as the monster and for the first of many times the legendary, always recognizable (but never the same twice) Down Place at Bray Studios would be cast as the Frankenstein Castle..

The Curse of Frankenstein was considered so gory and frightening in 1957 that it was derided by writers of the day as an affront to good-hearted god-fearing audiences. Funny how today it is almost unanimously hailed as the best Hammer film made.

Well there you have it folks - the top ten is complete. The Curse of Frankenstein trumps em all!
If you see the list differently don't hesitate to share yours! Until the next top ten, "Rarrrrrrrrrrr!"



Friday, October 3, 2014

#2 The Son of Frankenstein

"One doesn't easily forget, Herr Baron, an arm torn out by the roots." -Krogh

That's right kids, my top Universal Frankenstein film is the one where the screenwriters essentially said "Mary Shelley be damned - we're writing our own stories now". And that would mostly be the way they addressed classic horror from that point on. Why choose "Son" and not the very popular "Bride"  or the first film - most popular among the purists? I'd say that's an easy one - Son of Frankenstein is the darkest, most frightening and most well rounded horror film of the three. It is a true classic thriller. Rather, when fall rolls around it's the one I look forward to seeing the most.

Years after the initial horror in the tiny Frankenstein hamlet, the good doc's son, Wolf (Basil Rathbone) and family roll into town on a particularly dark and stormy night, expecting to be greeted with a kegger of SpatenBrau, pretzels and happy, dancing Bavarians. Instead he encounters that same old howling, angry mob this town is already well known for. The chief of police Inspector Krogh immediately infers that nothing good can ever come from a Frankenstein homecoming. We know all too well the inspector is never wrong.

It's hard to say just what the hell is going on with Basil Rathbone during this film. It's been suggested he didn't take the horror genre as a serious acting gig (explains why he did so many other horror films afterwards - not), but I wonder if he didn't simply see it as being the way to best portray this character as very high strung and possibly addicted to caffeine - as he was definitely losing his way and feeling the pinch between his new found aspirations to make monsters, the one armed, dart-tossing Krogh and of course dear Ygor, the murderous crook-neck with revenge plots aplenty bubbling inside his shaggy noggin.

"They hanged me once Frankenstein. They broke my neck. They said I was dead. Then they cut me down. They threw me in here, long ago. They wouldn't bury me in holy place like churchyard. Because I stole bodies, eh they said. So, Ygor is dead!" -Ygor

Karloff is billed as the monster but is Ygor, played to glorious horror perfection by Bela Lugosi here that is actually the most monstrous character in this film. Wolf's first moment encountering Ygor is highlighted by nearly being splatted like a giant Bavarian mosquito at the murderous hand of Ygor via a tremendous, foam-filled boulder. Nothing Ygor says or does at any point in this film infers that he would be a good pal to keep around for a laugh. Good for us!

 Karloff's final go-round as the monster features a particularly ghoulish "dead" appearance to his makeup and of course that fan-favorite woolly vest. A classic look. Thank goodness he has also apparently again lost the ability to speak since the last film. The monster no longer seems to long for female companionship. He only seems interested in doing the murderous bidding of his old pal Ygor.
The "giant" appears to have pretty insightful knowledge of the wondrous Frankenstein castle, trekking through secret rock-laden halls and into rooms via hidden doorways.

The home itself is a character in the film and I'd be remiss not to mention it. I particularly love the scene in Wolf's library during the storm that features very Haunted Mansion-ish lightning through the windows..

Old TV Guide Creature Feature ads always seemed to infer graphically that Wolf's young son Peter, played by Donny "Voice of Bambi" Dunagan was the "Son" of Frankenstein. Peter for the most part is the true 'WTF?' character in this movie - but having personally quoted most of his utterly comical dialogue probably thousands of times over the years I couldn't imagine this film without him. Dunagan is still living today and I would love the chance to meet him at one of the horror cons some day. It would be difficult not to holler out "Welllllllllllll hellllllllllllllllooooooooooooo!"

Finally, I wanted to mention the scene where Elsa, Wolf's wife arrives in the extremely shadowy and black Frankenstein Castle - after riding through hundreds of miles of the creepiest, decrepit terrain ever shown on film - in a horrific late-night storm. She politely asks the house maid about the castle - "Are the bedrooms cheery??".
If the maid would only answer: "look around lady, what the fuck do you think?"....

Thursday, October 2, 2014

#3 The Bride of Frankenstein

Five minutes into The Bride of Frankenstein we realize that this is not merely a 'part two' of Frankenstein but a pretty concerted effort by the filmmakers to utilize whatever improvement in grand skills they had learned in the few short years since the first film and to up the ante with loads of on-screen personality and stylish, gothic photography.
We first meet Minnie (Una O'connor) who (outside of the slightest bit of fun with the old Baron in film one) is the possibly the first legitimate comedic Franken-foil of the series (makers of Young Frankenstein probably had a field day studying her). She's a legitimate old bat with a cockney swagger but still proves no match for the late-night visiting, smug-face-making, no-time-for-women, alchemist Dr. Pretorius - who carries both the comedy and the villainy loads from the moment of his introduction through the rest of the film. Pretorius forces the all-of-a-sudden sensible Dr. Frankenstein (Colin Clive - filming the movie with broken leg - just prior to his death) back to his stitch-sewing bad habits. Somewhere in this part of the film we find out Lady Frankenstein has possibly had too much Laudanum and is seeing spooks and phantoms in the bedroom fireplace.

Then there' the Dr. Pretorius' 'little people' scene… This bit  is simply baffling, absurd - and is maybe an example of the influence of style on this film exceeding story telling. It's a real head scratcher. Fortunately the alchemy angle from that point on loses favor to Pretorius' outright villainy anyway. The scene would probably have been a better, well-storied, rare outtake for DVDs than eating up screen time. Because they knew about DVDs in the 30's. 


Karloff's monster packs up the baloney sandwiches and goes on the road in this film - making a quick stop in the blind man's cottage, where he learns all about friends, wine, cigars and good, hot food. He also makes it clear that fire pretty much sucks as far as he's concerned. Later he takes his new found indulgences to the crypts where he of course parties down with Pretorius, who is more than happy to share Gene Simmon's favorite drink (Cold Gin - which Pretorius' only weakness apparently). At some point they establish that the monster needs a sexy Franken-mate and that she should look exactly like Mary Shelley for some reason. We also discover that Dr. Pretorius has also invented the telephone. Oh, and the monster can talk now - but he never uses the phone - go figure.. "Hey doc, it's the Monster. I just wanted to give you a quick buzz and say hate living, love dead…"

If much of this sounds like I'm more interesting in goofing on the film than praising it's achievements it's because that is exactly the film this is - an exquisite goof. Visually it is a gothic masterpiece - and the musical score equals the visuals. The characters are cartoonish and the film appears to be edited to a strange pace (mostly at the end). And all of this is why I wouldn't change a thing (well maybe the little-people) - because like the monster and Pretorius, we don't belong to a movie critic's club - we belong dead…

Monday, September 29, 2014

#4 Frankenstein

So, Universal finally makes the Top 10..
I would argue that Universal never made a bad classic Frankenstein film, but when Karloff stopped plugging in the neck-bolts things definitely dropped off a bit. At number four we have the one that started it all (that Edison short that nobody has ever seen doesnt count).


In my arsehole opinion James Whales' Frankenstein is FAR superior to Tod Browning's Dracula (though between the two of these films that came out the same year you have the visual inspiration for horror, Halloween and Monster kid collectible culture that has lasted every decade since). Quite a lasting impact!

While Bela's take on Dracula is spooky and deliberate, Karloff as The Monster perfectly conveys unpredictable horror that could just as soon murder you as befriend you.



Dracula is the driest, almost silent-film quiet and utterly lacking music - but it is Frankenstein is where we first hear the beginnings of that beautiful familiar Universal Horror score that would continue all through the Universal Monster cycle. It's almost as big a presence as the monster itself. This first installment of an (unintended at the time) trilogy is the one that introduces us all to these characters that would be taken on over and over again throughout the decades. The Doc, the hunchback, the burgomaster, "guy carrying his dead child" and of course the angry mob running through the woods with torches..

Top 4 easily, but not quite the best of these films - the production on Karloff Frank films would improve greatly just in a few years while this film was just a bit early and rough.

Disagree? Well guess what - I can make boat, and it's time for you to shove off!

Sunday, September 28, 2014

#5 The Revenge of Frankenstein

I had seen and known The Curse of Frankenstein from TV boroadcasts, Creature Features etc. while the follow-up 'Revenge' had been far more hit and miss on TV. It eluded me for years. Even more recently it surprisingly has been left off of the Hammer DVD mini sets for some reason. Only able to catch partial airings for years I finally was able to catch this one in its entirety and it was everything I hoped it would be - starting off right where Curse had left off, with Cushing's Dr. Frankenstein escaping the guillotine and making off to the Hammer set for Horror of Dracula (filmed back to back) at Bray.


The ole Doc is once again up to no good as he's been running a pauper's hospital by day and tending to the swapping out of chimpanzee brains by night. 

Dr. Frankenstein has his own "Karl" in this film and just like Ygor and "friend" Daniel from the Universal films he covets going under the knife to attain a new body. That plan never works out.
Karl gets his operation and awakes a real fine stitched-up-dandy. He's hipper than Tony from Saturday Night Fever for a minute - but like Michael Sarrazin from Frankenstein: The True Story he devolves into something that resembles a meth fiend after a 4 day tweaker.


Meanwhile a character simply called "Up Patient" (must be some British hooey) played by the late great Richard Wordsworth (The beggar from Curse of The Werewolf) is just busy stealing the show with some great bits about how a few fine years worth of dirt and general un-bathed livin' keeps a man healthy, happy and upright. That and being a professional snoop - which is never a good thing around ol Dr. Frankenstein.

Things go south, people start dying - the usual Frankenstein antics, then the people go after the Doc..

The ending of this film is another great twist in the Hammer Frankenstein series.
You just can't keep the good doc down…


Saturday, September 27, 2014

#6 Frankenstein and The Monster From Hell

One of the strangest Hammer Frankenfilms - and one that is often snubbed by critics is Peter Cushing's last turn as the finest Dr. Frankenstein in classic horror. This one also happens to be the final Terrance Fisher film for Hammer.
The old Doc has been locked away in a crumbly ole prison - but he is assessing then assembling his fellow inmates into a quite grizzly Super-Frank..

This freak show features possibly the craziest looking "Monster" outside of Toho-Frank. David "Darth Vader" Prowse is encased in a jiggly mass of hair, blood and drippy meat.

I'll be perfectly honest - when I was a kid looking at pics of this monster in Famous Monsters of Filmland I mistook the title meaning "Frankenstein" the monster - was going to do battle with this hairy behemoth. I hadn't figured out yet that Hammer never did Monster Mashes and that the big oaf was the Frankenstein's Monster - albeit this doctor's umpteenth creature. Hammer never brought Frankie back the way Universal did. That privilege was apparently saved for Count Dracula.



This film mostly takes part in the claustrophobic confines of the dank old prison and there are some interesting twists ala a mute female assistant that is Dr. Frankenstein's "hands" - as his are damaged from fire (that Hammer continuity).

It doesn't necessarily stand higher than a few of the other Hammer Frankie films but for sheer shock impact regarding that wild monster and loads of quite gruesome sequences it is one I have fond nostalgic regard for this Franken-freakout of a film..

With 5 spots left this is probably my last 'flex' entry. Some seriously serious Frankenstein coming your way next!